Hayden Barnes Ellias Memorial Fund

A memorial fund set up in Hayden's name to help us educate on soccer goal safety.

Hayden Barnes Ellias Memorial Fund
c/o Michele Hutton
124 Slippery Elm Dr.
Stephens City, VA  22655

The Blue Ridge Youth Soccer Association, along with several area coaches are putting together a camp to honor him. 

The HBE Free Soccer Camp in memory of Hayden Barnes Ellias will be held July 31 - Aug 2, 2007.  This camp is open to all boys and girls grades 2nd - 12th and will focus on technical, tactical, mental, physical and safety aspects of soccer.

You can see the information on the camp at www.brysa.org under the recreational icon.

One Less Person is There
From: The Winchester Star
by Teresa Dunham
Tuesday, June 5, 2007

Stephens City — Mary Ellias drove around Frederick County on Friday, looking for soccer goals. For each goal she found, she gave a strong one-armed pull — and stakes on two of them came out of the ground.

“It was 25 days after my child died, and there’s a goal I could pull over,” she said. “I can’t tell you the disappointment and discouragement. It was like salt in a wound.”

Dry ground allowed the stakes to slide out easily, she said. Since then, she has made checking goals a priority.  “I will stop and pull on these goals. I will check those goals,” said Mary, who made sure that the two goals were secured immediately.

A month ago, she and her husband Greg never would have given a second glance to a soccer goal. Then the unimaginable happened.  Their son, Hayden Barnes Ellias, 10, was playing goalie in a Winchester United under-11 scrimmage on May 7 against the Winchester United girls team.

Cleanly saving a soccer ball from entering the goal, Hayden gave it a big kick to the other end of the field — and all heads turned to watch the ball.  “I heard the noise. I looked and saw him on the ground, and then the noise registered,” Mary said.

No one actually saw the goal fall, she said, since all eyes were on the other side of the field. “The next thing I knew, Greg was gone. I still sat there,” she said. “I saw Hayden laying on the ground. The net was over him.”  

Greg, a nurse at Washington (D.C.) Hospital Center, started to perform cardiopulmonary resuscitation on his son. “At that point, it was almost like my body was floating above everything. I didn’t believe what I was seeing,” said Mary, who called 911. People were telling her to stay back because of the blood, but she told them: “If he’s going [to die], I need to be there.”  Eventually, the crowd parted to let Mary get closer to her son. “He looked like my little boy laying on the ground,” she said.

When emergency personnel came, Greg rode with them to the hospital. Just before Hayden died, the family learned the goal that had hit him on the back of the head had also broken his neck.

“An hour before, he was laughing,” said Mary. “I had no clue something so serious and so dangerous could happen on a soccer field.” Some have speculated that Hayden had jumped up and was swinging on the goal.

But his parents don’t believe it. “I had never seen him do something like that. He took his position seriously,” Mary said. “I honestly believe he was putting himself back into position.”

The family does know that the goal wasn’t secured properly at the time it fell, Greg said. “The only thing we can think of is that the goal was unbalanced to begin with,” he said. “A lot of little things went on, and he just happened to be standing where he was.”

Besides, Greg couldn’t imagine that their 70-pound, 41/2-foot-tall son could jump up that quickly onto a 61/2-foot-tall goal bar. No matter how it happened, Greg and Mary just know that their little boy is gone — and everything reminds them of him.

They open a drawer, and one of his trinkets is there. Mary folds the laundry, and one of his T-shirts is in the basket. “His room is still there. The school bus every morning and afternoon reminds us. Sitting at the dinner table, one less person is there,” Mary said. Even taking out the trash is bittersweet. “That was Hayden’s job.”

Never again will Greg and Mary have blind faith in coaches, recreation departments, or school systems. “We’re all human, and the [room for] error is there,” said Mary. “As parents, we have the right to walk up to a goal and check.”

In fact, that’s exactly what Mary does when Hayden’s brother and sister go onto a soccer field these days. The oldest brother, 12-year-old Collin, played a game in Annandale two weeks ago — and his parents checked the goals beforehand. “A referee never checked it,” said Greg.

Mary struggled, unsure if she should speak up. Finally, she asked the referee why he didn’t check the goal. She said he replied: “Oh gosh, thanks for telling me. I haven’t done that in three years.”

Collin and his younger sister, Alanna, 9, believe Hayden is giving them a little help on the soccer field these days. “Alanna has been playing like I’ve never seen her play before. She said, ‘Hayden is in me now, Mom,’” Mary said. As for Collin, he scored an amazing goal on Sunday.

“He had a direct kick to the goal. I could feel an energy. The coach turned and said, ‘Collin, do you want this one?’” Mary said. That’s when Collin kicked and made the most beautiful goal his family had seen him score. “It’s like Hayden was an angel on his shoulder,” Mary said.

Though they feel Hayden’s spirit with them, Alanna and Collin have struggled during the past month. “Collin is trying to be the big brother. He had to grow up quickly in the past couple of weeks,” said Mary.

Meanwhile, Alanna — a third-grader at Bass Hoover Elementary School — must walk the same halls where Hayden attended fourth grade. “She’s a strong little cookie ... to pass his room. To see his artwork still hanging on the wall. To hear kids talking about him,” Mary said.

Mary firmly believes that God didn’t “take” her little boy — instead, God saved him.

“If he’d survived that incident, he wouldn’t have been the same child,” she said. After all, God knew what a bright, energetic boy Hayden was, she said. God knew that he loved to play basketball, kickball, and roller hockey in the street.

“His eyes just lit up a room, and his smile, no matter how sad you were, would make you smile,” she said. “I’m in awe of how many people he’s touched in his short 10 years.”

Perhaps, if his story reminds people to secure soccer goals, Hayden will continue to touch many lives.

“If I can save one life by doing this,” Mary said, “then I’ve done my job.”